Separation isn't a single event you file with a court — it's a date and a set of decisions, and the record you build in the first weeks often matters more than anything you say later.
In most of Canada, you become separated the moment you and your spouse or partner stop living together as a couple with the intention of ending the relationship — you don't file anything to make it official, and you can even be separated while still sharing a home if you're living 'separate and apart' under one roof. That said, the date matters: it can affect how property is valued, when support obligations start, and how long you need to wait before a divorce can be finalized (generally one year of separation under the federal Divorce Act, for married couples). Write the date down and note why you chose it, in case it's ever disputed.
For common-law or 'adult interdependent' partners, there is no divorce to wait for, but separation still triggers real legal consequences in many provinces — property division, spousal support, and parenting arrangements can all apply. The rules for who qualifies as common-law (length of cohabitation, having a child together, registering a partnership) vary by province, so confirm your status with a local family lawyer or your provincial court's self-help resources rather than assuming.
Before positions harden, take stock quietly and factually. Open or secure your own bank account if you don't already have one, and get copies of recent statements for every joint and individual account, RRSP, TFSA, pension, and credit card. Note the balances as of your separation date — this snapshot is often more useful later than anyone remembers to keep. Photograph or list significant shared property (vehicles, furniture, valuables) and gather ownership documents for the house or any other real estate.
If you'll need to prove income later — for support or property purposes — pull together recent pay statements and a couple of years of tax returns now, while they're easy to find. If either of you is self-employed or paid through a corporation, this step tends to take longer and matter more, so start early.
Decide, even informally, where each of you is living and who is paying which bills in the interim. An informal arrangement in writing (even a text or email exchange) is far better than an unspoken assumption once a dispute starts.
Courts across Canada decide parenting matters based on the best interests of the child, regardless of whether the parents were married or common-law. In the early weeks, try to keep the day-to-day schedule as stable and predictable as possible for the kids, and keep a simple record of the actual parenting time each of you has — who has the children on which days — since early patterns often become the starting point for later discussions.
Child support generally follows the Federal Child Support Guidelines and is based primarily on each parent's income, so the income documents you're already gathering will do double duty here. If money is tight, provincial legal aid and family justice services can point you toward the right forms and guidelines for your situation.
The biggest practical difference is that married spouses have automatic access to divorce and to federal divorce law, while common-law partners rely entirely on provincial property, support, and family law — and those provincial rules differ significantly in what property gets divided and how. Some provinces treat common-law property division much like marriage; others leave it largely to general property and contract law, which can produce very different outcomes for the same facts.
Because of this variation, don't assume anything about property or support based on what you've heard about a friend's situation in another province, and don't assume 'common-law' automatically means 'no different from married.' A short consultation with a lawyer licensed in your province, early on, is usually the fastest way to know where you actually stand.
Whatever else you do, keep every letter, email, and text that touches money, parenting, or property — from your side and theirs. In separation, the letter record becomes the timeline: who proposed what, which deadlines were set, and what was actually agreed versus merely discussed. It's easy to lose track of a response deadline buried in paragraph three of a lawyer's letter, and a missed one can shape how the rest of the process unfolds.
Treat this as ongoing housekeeping, not a one-time task — new letters and deadlines will keep arriving for months, and the value of the record comes from it staying complete and organized the whole way through, not just at the start.
Generally no. Separation is a factual state — living apart with the intention to end the relationship — not a court filing. Some later steps, like divorce, do require filing, and a lawyer or your provincial court website can confirm what applies to your situation.
No. There is no divorce for common-law partners, but property, support, and parenting consequences can still apply depending on your province's rules and how long you were together. Confirm your specific status with a local family lawyer.
Keeping a dated copy of every letter and email that touches money, property, or parenting. Courts and mediators generally rely heavily on the actual written record, and gaps in it are hard to fill in later from memory.
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This guide is general information, not legal advice. Laws change and differ by jurisdiction — confirm specifics with a local family lawyer or your court's official website. If you use SortMyDivorce, your letters stay confidential — never shared, never sold.